Sunday 27 March 2016

The Darkness Within

The Darkness Within

Arrogance

The darkness inside us expresses itself in a number of ways and one that comes to mind is arrogance, that sense of superiority, self-importance or entitlement that more and more people everyday seem to exude. 

Buddhism speaks of the "nine arrogances" that are divided between thinking and asserting and also includes false humility. It all seems a bit complicated to me.

When thinking on this I found it more helpful to think in terms of internal (that directed towards or about ourselves) and external arrogance (that direct towards or about others). 



Internal

I'm sure we are all familiar with internal arrogance. How often have we compared ourself to others and made a judgement that in some way we are better than them in skills, looks, accomplishments, wealth, virtue or even in closeness to God. It seems this is not simply a misplaced understanding of our place and value in the world but rather the most basic expression of the sin within us, that self-seeking desire that I have struggled with my entire life. Often we can't help but let that judgement show in our body language, expressions and speech when we interact with others. At our worst we openly proclaim it to others, perhaps subconsciously seeking recognition and affirmation. 

External 

But what about external arrogance? I think the most insidious form of arrogance and one I have come across quite often in churches is what I have come to think of as external arrogance. To state it more plainly, it is when we think we know what is best for others and try to direct them to it. In workplaces this can be expressed as an almost cold, emotional assessment of a persons, skills and capabilities followed by pressure to take up certain roles. While in the workplace this makes good practical sense, it does not translate well into the church environment. The problems involved are manifold.

As a Christian my faith is centred around my personal relationship with Jesus Christ who is my Lord and God. One of my aims is to become better at listening to the direction of God for my life and act upon that direction. It does not necessarily follow that someone else within my church family will know what God has planned for me simply by an external assessment of my capabilities. In fact God often does His greatest work with those that might be seen as not having the necessary skills. Yet many times I have been told by well meaning people that I should be using my talents and skills in this or that ministry because they are a gift from God. When the leading of God in my personal relationship coincides with this external advice all is well. When it does not, however, it can become a source of friction and distress to the point of bullying. Just because someone can do something does not necessarily mean that they should be doing it or more importantly have been called by God to do it. In my experience there is an enormous difference when you recognise that you have been called to a task by God.

Am I saying that unless we are called by God we should do nothing in His service? No.
Am I saying that even if we have the skills to do something for God we shouldn't do that unless he says so directly? Again no.

What I am saying is that it is arrogance if we do not accept God's direction for someone's life because we think we know better.  If this leads to unhealthy interaction then the will of God is not best served. The aggressor demonstrates a lack of faith and the recipient can be caused to doubt God's calling and often struggles to deal with the expectations placed upon them.

I can already hear the responses that its not that simple. I agree. Life is a complex equation. Some people are lazy, others are not. Some are blind to God's purposes and others walk in the path He sets for them. My point is that we must approach our relationships wisely with love and prayer to avoid a wrong assessment that might cause us to stray into arrogance.


Our Inner Darkness


How easy would be our lot if arrogance was the only problem we had to deal with? Sitting in Church yesterday and a quote used by the minister struck home to me in a number of ways. 

Journalist Michael Ware recently released a documentary about his time in the Iraq war where he was embedded with the Iraqi insurgents, Al Qa'ida and US troops. Filming with his handheld camera, he attended secret enemy meetings, witnessed the birth of what was later to become Islamic State, was almost beheaded (saved only by his insurgent contact), was shot at repeatedly while embedded with US troops and entered a house (with only his camera) with Staff Sergeant David Bellavia to eliminate a group of Al Qa'ida soldiers who refused to surrender. 

After almost 10 years in the war zone he was driven to compile a documentary of his experiences entitled "Only the Dead", drawing extensively on footage he himself had shot. In describing the film he said...


It is about more than Iraq and Zarqawi. It is about all wars, and what they do to us all; soldiers, civilians, enemies, friends. It is about seeing good men do evil and evil men do good. In the end it is about the darkness deep inside all of us.
[as quoted in The Daily Telegraph 06 May 2015 ]
Michael Ware has seen the best and the worst in people and his war documentary confronts it all 

While I don't believe that Michael Ware is a Christian, he could not have more clearly expressed the need for God's plan of salvation through Jesus Christ. Unable to control the darkness within us, mankind repeatedly descends into the worst kinds of horrors from which there is no escape, even after the event. 

So why do you act the way you do? Is it an expression of your inner darkness? Praise be to the Lord God who through His son Jesus Christ, can save us from ourselves and lead us into the Light.